"Sir Reality" Private Mail

Dear Veronica Vixen,

I write you because I don't feel comfortable discussing this in front of the TV cameras. While I find you to be a stellar dancer and a magnificent beauty I feel your inquisitiveness at last week's post-challenge cocktail hour to be unsettling. I would no more ask you about your hobbies than I would your past. For that, I ask you to do the same.

Please do not take this to mean that I have something sordid to hide or something dastardly in my past. I am and always will be an upstanding citizen of this community. Because a man has an extensive collection of knives, axes, and machetes, and has a "secret room" in his house with lots of rope, blindfolds, and buckets of blood of unknown origin does not mean he's someone to be suspicious of. Any pertinent information about my background can be found on the questionnaire I filled out before coming on this reality show. I like poodles, long walks in the forest, and gummy bears.

I would like to discuss this with you further. Please meet me, alone, in Confessional Booth A at 3 a.m, Saturday morning. If I'm not there when you arrive, please wait patiently with the lights off.

Thank you.

-Butch Saben

p.s. Perhaps I’ll catch see you before that, 10 p.m. Friday at the Sage Theater. Our challenges await!