From Middle Village to the Moroccan Middle Atlas mountains and back.

An oil sketch I made of my accommodations on my annual trip through North Africa exploring Taourig drum rhythms and indigenous dye pigments of the Tamazight Berber tribes. Looking forward to next year's native spice tour by dromedaire in the Sahara. Ah, vacation! Bisslama, Amelia

Poop Daniels, State Trooper: Incident Report

1t 11:35 a.m., 5 miles east past Cedar Junction on South Virginia Route 3 I came across a bag of weed. I pulled over a blue sedan around 6 miles west of Jackson Hollow because it was the only car I could find. Driver, appeared to be between 10-12 years old but provided a valid handmade driver's license and crayon issued registration.

Around 12:02 pm, I radioed in for Ralph to pick me up a box of Banana-Rama Donuts and Two Spider-Man Popsicles. I specifically told ralph if he wanted a Spider-Man popsicle to order his own. The two popsicles I ordered did not include one for him. When I got pack to the station house, one of my popsicles was missing and Ralph was playing with a popsicle stick. When questioned Ralph stated that I had ordered one for me and one for him. I was appalled. The Banana-Rama Donuts were up to par, however.

At 2:17 p.m. I found an old lady who I was sure owned the bag of weed that I found on the road. I threw her in jail. She said she was 86. I informed her that she had my condolences for spending her twilight years incarcerated for a misdemeanor. Laws are broken by choice.

At 2:18 p.m. Sarge released the old lady at which point I understood why the media is so critical of the system.

At 2:37 p.m. I arrested a man I was convinced was Benito Mussolini. I was absolutely convinced. After being elated at such a high-profile collar, I realized I was mistaken and fined the man $50 for something or other.

At 2:52 p.m. I heard rap music and radioed in for backup. When troopers DeWalt and Duntz arrived on the scene they informed me the music I had heard was "atonal jazz" and not rap music. Upon further listening to the "atonal jazz" which went on to sound like foot steps and roach attennae scraping against lampshades, we realized that such music is that of perpetrators and arrested a man or woman claiming to be a spoken word activist. Another one of society's thorns professionally pruned by the state police.

Dancing in Public

Dance Rehearsal at New York Burger Company from SpaceHamlet on Vimeo.

Here's footage of some of the Character Dogville cast dancing at The New York Burger King.

Can you beat Justin in the Post-Show Handstand Contest this Friday?

Vice-Prinicpal Jones: Jurassic Park Will Be Showing in the Cafeteria Today

Dear Students,

This is Vice Principal Jones, your beloved administrator and disciplinarian. Due to the inclement weather the schoolyard is closed for recess today. As a generous concession, in lieu of the recess we will have an all school showing of Jurassic Park in the cafeteria. The movie will commence only after every chicken patty, every lemon square, and every vanilla milk is finished. There is no eating during movies, children. Neither will there be any tolerance granted for talking. If you like something about the movie and wish to tell your friends, do not get excited and start screaming, save your thoughts for the school designated "speaking time." Likewise there will be no bathroom visits during the movie. The movie is a gift from me to you and leaving to relieve yourself would be an insult to my generousity. If you need to go to the bathroom, simply focus on the events of the exciting movie and remember the human bladder can be held for long periods of time. Thank you in advance for being well behaved for the all school showing of Jurassic Park today.

Please note: If you have already seen this movie and speak of its ending to your classmates you be dealt a swift Saturday detention.

Also Please note: After the showing I will have a brief demonstration of my own robot dinosaurs that I once used to hold the governor of Maryland as my prisoner.

See you in the Jurassic Park, students.

Vice Principal Jones

Who should I be this week?

more at twiigs.com...

The Ghost of Luke Meginsky Caught on Film!

Clarification regarding last night...

Many of you saw what appeared to be a disorganized mess of us reality show cast–cum–one-time interns from "Sir Reality" bickering on stage at the show last night. I assure you this is only the result of the complete and total boneheadedness of my counterparts; the ragged old bat Ms. Rapley, the frighteningly man-hungry Mayber (or however you spell her freakin' name!) and the ravishing (yet dim-witted) inbred, Margot.

It was my intent to fulfill my duties as the house celebrity, showcasing a glamorous introduction of the residents of After Pants and Middle Village (appearing at The Sage Theater, Fridays, 10 p.m.) before the motley coterie of nincompoops chimed in.

I would also like to say that regardless of what was reported on page six of a local rag that shall remain nameless, I fully intend to continue with "Sir Reality" (The Sage Theater, April 11, 10 p.m.) and not entertain the offer by my old friend, Kirk Cameron, to appear in his upcoming movie, "Left Behind II: Abandonment Issues."

Thank you for attending and I apologize for any discomfort my castmates may have inflicted on you as a result of their pettiness.

And, thank you for letting them know that you do in fact remember me from such famous roles as "Child #2" in the short-lived, controversial, and arguably offensive live-action versions of the Lucky Charms commercials, circa 1981.

Champagne wishes and oatmeal dreams,
Olson Winslow, II

Blimey! Here I am, Gladiola Granger (a.k.a. Hydrangea Higgenbottom) with Paris Hilton. She's a right famous person. Those bummers in Hampsteadshiremoore must be all jealous-like.
One can only wonder, "What celebrity will be at the Wednesday night Primetime show and after-party?" An actual after-party! Ah, bugger, I hope I don't get all addicted-like to drugs and have to check into rehab with my new fame! See you Wednesday. Love, Gladdy
P.S. Don't be a wanker--come to the bloody show, would you.