Many of you saw what appeared to be a disorganized mess of us reality show cast–cum–one-time interns from "Sir Reality" bickering on stage at the show last night. I assure you this is only the result of the complete and total boneheadedness of my counterparts; the ragged old bat Ms. Rapley, the frighteningly man-hungry Mayber (or however you spell her freakin' name!) and the ravishing (yet dim-witted) inbred, Margot.
It was my intent to fulfill my duties as the house celebrity, showcasing a glamorous introduction of the residents of After Pants and Middle Village (appearing at The Sage Theater, Fridays, 10 p.m.) before the motley coterie of nincompoops chimed in.
I would also like to say that regardless of what was reported on page six of a local rag that shall remain nameless, I fully intend to continue with "Sir Reality" (The Sage Theater, April 11, 10 p.m.) and not entertain the offer by my old friend, Kirk Cameron, to appear in his upcoming movie, "Left Behind II: Abandonment Issues."
Thank you for attending and I apologize for any discomfort my castmates may have inflicted on you as a result of their pettiness.
And, thank you for letting them know that you do in fact remember me from such famous roles as "Child #2" in the short-lived, controversial, and arguably offensive live-action versions of the Lucky Charms commercials, circa 1981.
Champagne wishes and oatmeal dreams,
Olson Winslow, II
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment